Monday, August 1, 2016

Behind Bars TV Time

When you're locked up behind bars, you have very little access to the outside world.  This is why watching television and reading the newspaper is considered such a treat and privilege. In fact, in some jails an inmate must earn the right to watch television.  Hello.  My name is Bob Smith and I've spent much of my adult life in and out of jail.  You may be wondering why a convict is now writing a blog.  Good question. The truth is, I had a lot of time to think about my future and make serious changes to stay out of jail.  I'm now turning my mess into my message by writing about the ins and outs of jail life.  In my series, Behind Bars, I'm taking an in depth look at how to survive in the slammer.  Let's get started.  

Once you're booked into jail and you've contacted your bail bonding agent, it's time to start earning your television rights.  If you want to be in charge of the remote control, you're going to have to earn more points.  In jail, you can earn television points by staying in constant contact with your bail bonding services company and setting a good example for the other inmates.  For example, follow through on jail staff commands, offer to lead a small basket weaving group or clean up the kitchen after each meal.  Once you begin earning your points, the jail staff will keep in constant contact with your bail services agent.   

Watching TV In Jail

A bail bonding agent will tally up all your television points and make sure you're staying on task .  Once you  earn 100 points, you are eligible for 30 minutes of television time in the common area.  Even so, you'll have to earn 300 points to be in charge of the remote control.  Your bail bonding agent should be able to give you a plan to reach your goal.  It typically takes about a week to earn 100 television viewing points. It's tough work, but certainly worth it.  There's nothing like a good rerun of Friends to get your mind off the stress and chaos of jail life. 

Once you've earned your television viewing points, you have the opportunity to earn more points to watch a movie.  This is a really big deal.  I once earned enough points to watch Dumb and Dumber three times.  I love that movie.  However, in jail you can only watch comedy movies.  There are no rated R movies allowed, for obvious reasons. Can you imagine if the jail staff played The Zodiac in jail? Yeah, I don't think your bail bondsman would be too happy about that one. 

Life Behind Bars

Even when you earn the right to watch television, you don't necessarily get to choose what you get to watch.  The inmate with the most television viewing points and the most powerful bail agent is the remote control master. This means the inmate gets to choose the channels and has the ability to change the program at any notice. This is exceptionally frustrating.  There's nothing worse than having the channel changed right in the middle of America's Got Talent.  When a channel is changed unexpectedly, it can often lead to jail house fights and even riots.  If this happens, run to the nearest phone and call your bail bondsman.  If you can't reach a phone, speed walk to your cell and close the door tightly.  Hide under your bed and wait for a jail guard to lock you inside.  Nothing upsets an inmate more that watching half an episode of The Voice. 

Even O.J. Watches TV In Jail

Watching television behind bars is a privilege that is not to be taken lightly.  The television is a window to the outside world.  If you fail to earn your television points, it will be a very long and lonely stay at your local jail.  Trust me, I know.  One time in the 90's, I was charged with vehicular assault and did not earn any television points. Boy, was that a depressing time in my life.  However, if I had hired a licensed and professional bail bondsman, I may have earned enough credit to at least watch Full House. Live and learn, I guess.  If you love to watch television, call your bail bonding agent as soon as you get to jail.  A bail agent can help you develop a plan to see the shows you love the most.  Good luck!   If you ever need the services of a bail bondsman, use the one I used.  Rob's Bail Bonds in Clear Lake California.  He is the best.

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